WAS I AT THE WRONG PARTY?

Was this the wrong party? Maybe. But I didn’t mind. I think we spend so much time curating and researching our entertainment nowadays that we don’t know how to have adventures anymore.

Kingsday 2025.

The friends visiting from Canada sent me a text the night before Kingsday saying that they were heading out for some dinner and possibly catching a concert at Paradiso. With slight concern I sent a text back, “I’m going to pass on Paradiso. Don’t stay out too late. Tomorrow’s going to be a busy day.” I don’t think I prepared them well enough for the onslaught of orange that was heading our way.

Even after ten years of Koningsdag celebrations, I still marvel at how much of Amsterdam enjoys to party throughout the city. In my miscalculation, I really thought we could bike through Vondelpark in the morning to meet my other friend by Leidseplein. That idea was quickly thwarted when I saw the throngs of people in orange t-shirts and hats overtaking the entire paths for walking and cycling throughout the park. After escaping through a side exit, I mapped out our walk to the Stedelijk on Googlemaps which estimated a thirty minute walk. Throughout the day my two friends absorbed all the sites and merriment, trying to process how this National holiday had never crossed their radar before. Ten years on, I’ve sort of forgotten how special Kingsday can be and I enjoyed the festivities even more walking around with a little crew. After of hours in the sun, dancing and walking between eating stroopwaffles and drinking seltzers and salmari shots, we had to contend with the long walk back to our bikes ( a decision well-founded since riding a bike anywhere in the city would have been chaos).

I was more excited for our evening excursion. I really wanted to take my guests to a Dutch party and to get a sense of what they thought of it. I wondered if they would appreciate how well organized night life was in the Netherlands or if it was something that only I felt about club life here. I wanted to take them some place that was big enough in scope but also close enough to the apartment in case some of us or all of us wanted to bail early.

I still get so impressed by things that I think most Dutch party-goers take for granted. I appreciate that there is a lot of thought and care into making an enjoyable experience. The security is prompt and friendly, lockers are easily accessible without having to queue for coat check, there is a diversity of rooms with different electronic music, and places to get some food are available should you get hungry. Some events will even have relaxation areas with people ready to give you massages; and there is always a medical team or awareness team should you need assistance.

But as we searched for our locker to put our coats away I felt a slight sense of dread. Firstly, I was surprised to see so many people still wearing orange Kingsdays outfits. I remembered a party that I attended a few years back that made of point of asking people to remove their Kingsday accoutrements for the night time revelries. Also, the ratio between men and women skewed heavily towards men and if I’m being totally honest, it would not have been completely out of pocket to say “boys and girls” because the crowd was, well… young. It took me by surprise, mostly because the parties I generally frequent naturally have a more intergenerational feel. The three of us were completely dwarfed by the giant boys with blonde hair and broad shoulders who huddled together and walked through the festival grounds like American Football teams made of Abercrombie and Fitch models.

Of the three rooms, there was one playing more of an even tempo, deep-house vibe that I noticed seemed slightly more age appropriate. But the two other bigger venues were playing the more current style of techno, with its energetic pulse of pumping rhythms. I’m trying to recall, but I don’t think we saw any female DJs spinning while we were there. The music was good but also slightly nondescript. I wouldn’t say I walked away feeling like the music brought me to euphoric heights with its sonic storytelling but in fairness we didn't stay long, exhausted from the daytime celebrations.

Amongst the sea of bouncing boys and girls, it made me understand and appreciate how electronic music is embedded in Dutch culture and how young these people form their inner circle of friends. Nightlife culture here is about connecting with your community and clique, as opposed to finding new friends on the dance floor or coming to hear a specific DJ. I got the impression that the music was incidental and that they didn’t care much what was music playing or who was playing it. This was an occasion to build lifetime bonds and create new memories with potential lifelong friends.

I was not under the impression I was going to make any new connections seeing as there was an obvious age gap. Everyone was friendly enough and I did have a few people smile at me and offer a fist bump here and there. But being at this party gave me more insight as to why it can be difficult to make friends with Dutch people, especially a my age. Parties are building blocks for connection amongst a fully-formed group. This, to me, is a very different intention from what I experienced in North America, where nightlife is an opportunity to meet new like-minded people, and where strangers can potentially become chosen family.

Was this the wrong party to go to after a fun Kingsday? Maybe. But I didn’t mind. I think we spend so much time curating and researching our entertainment nowadays that we don’t know how to have adventures anymore. Moreover, going out is now so costly, I completely understand the desire not to go out somewhere without the assurance that it will be cool, fun or a the very least, interesting. Would I go to this party again next year? Despite how close the venue was to where I live, the answer is most certainly no. But I did enjoy being surrounded by people having fun within their friend circles and getting a better sense of how (night)life ideologies are formed in the Netherlands. Looking around I could sense the potential of people who, in a few years time, may look more deeply at different styles of electronic music, developing a more seasoned and selective approach to club life. Out of the thousands of people who attended this party, who will start producing music? Become the next superstar DJ? Start their own label? Be a headline DJ at Berghain or a resident at Raum? Only time will tell.